Reflections

Hello to everyone. We are doing fine and are working to bring some long strivings to fruition. I am convinced that the present day ideas of living together without the commitment of marriage is reeking havoc on France. Couples, for the greater part, are living together and when a major problem arises in the relationship, are going their separate ways even when there are children involved. If the couple doesn't marry and they have children, the state will pay the mother a monthly sum for raising them and the father is off the hook to go his separate way and take little or no responsibility for the child.

We had a case here with someone we know that the father was to take his son for a month during the summer vacation. After 15 days the father had had enough of the fatherly duties and sent the son back to the mother. If the father doesn't claim the child by filling out the necessary papers, the mother is totally responsible and the state then takes on the financial responsibility of 150 dollars a month. Dad goes his way and can continue the cycle all over again.

I am convinced that commitment to each partner in the marriage and to the children we are blessed with is a major contributor to the stability of the child and they will probably follow the example of the parents unless the false ideas of the world take hold. I am also convinced that marriage is not a 50/50 partnership; it is 100% on both sides. When a major problem comes our way and causes a problem, both partners can fight against the urge of pulling away and still overcome the problem.

I do not say that there are not valid reasons for dissolving a marriage, but for the day to day difficulties of life, a total commitment on both sides is needed to weather the storms that come down upon us.

To get people married here in France it takes patience. The documents needed do cost much more that at home and there are medical concerns and a waiting period. So to avoid all that, people just live together and avoid the hassle.

Changing gears drastically, I would like to say that there are few gated communities in France. The reason for that is that each house is gated. Where we live, each house has a wall around it and gates at the driveway and at the door leading into the yard. Some driveway gates only open with a electric door opener. We leave the house with the gate open so I don't have to get in and out of the car to open the gate on our return. Everyone here closes the gates behind them with a key when leaving, even for a short while. There is very little conversation among neighbors in France and when they do talk it is over the fence if it is low enough for them to see each other. We are totally enclosed at our house except for the iron gate out front. Not much opportunity for interaction. Even the church is locked up tight as the property is surrounded by a fence and a gate at the walk-in area and at the drive-in area; so different from at home. I feel that our way is an automatic welcome whereas here it is just the opposite.

In our 2nd summer here we are still amazed at the beauty of this country and the fields are a patch work of different crops and therefore you see a constant variety everywhere. We enjoy the few trips we have within the mission because the landscape changes quickly enough to enjoy every trip. There are greens of every hue and the flowers that bloom here are of every shape and color.

The French take care of their yards and most plant flowers, shrubs, and trees are of different colors. In this area, just about everything will grow, from a certain palm tree to pines. There is a tree here called a monkey tree because monkeys can't climb it due to the way the bark turns upward and it is sharp at the ends. The yards are planted in such a way that something is in bloom all the time and the colors and shapes of the flowers are all different and beautiful.
Unfortunately, in a way, we are seeing the time pass quickly and when the mission home starts making your home bound arrangements it is evident that this part of our life is coming to a close. We love the people here, but know that there are loved ones waiting to greet us at home. It is a little like when we leave this world and are greeted by loved one there. There is a care and love for those left behind, but there is plenty to see and do after this life if we hold to the iron rod.
As I always say to those I know here, Soyez sage, or be wise or be good.

Love
Elder Dad