Life in France

Life in France has slowed down to a crawl. The summer months of July and August are when the locals disappear and leave things to the tourists. People are flocking to the Charente (our area which is named after the river here) mainly because it is a beautiful grape growing area, and there are many castles and chateau’s to see. We are also on the way to many famous sites, such as Lourdes, and others, plus the Airbus factory in Toulouse which I hear is a great tour. I always thought that shutters would be thrown open wide in the hot months, but nope, more often than not they are closed up tight to keep things cool and dark inside the house. Also, everything but the very largest stores close down from noon until two o’clock for lunch, so you have to plan ahead or you are out of luck with anything urgent.

Our recepisse’s (temporary permission to reside in France) will be out of date again in about a week and a half. So, we went to see why we haven’t received our permanent Carte de SeJour (well, permanent for a year, that is). The nice lady in the records office in St. Yrieix couldn’t understand why the delay either, so she called the head office in Angouleme. “Why, we sent that months ago!” Hmmmm. So our lady stayed ladylike and said that they had been having trouble with the mail in St. Yrieix, and would she please expedite that for us? Elle adit, oui (She said, yes). Hopefully we will get somewhere this time. We will have to go on a 2 hour drive for a Doctor’s examination as part of the process; that will be interesting.

It is hard on missionary work with people disappearing left and right. The Elder’s are getting rattayed (my spelling for appointments not kept) three out of four times, and people just leave and forget to call, so they get to the house, and there’s no one home. A perfect example of this is with our golden contact, Mme. Caillon. She was eating the Book of Mormon in great handfuls, and felt that it was true. She asked many questions and was satisfied with the answers, and wanted to hear more. She said, "The next time you come, I want you to tell me what I have to do to be baptized." What better words could a missionary want to hear? Then she had eye trouble, so we missed our meeting; then we came and saw a note pinned to her door (never a good sign said one of the Elders), and it was true. She had gone on vacation, and would see us again Sept. 8. That’s a long time (for us) to worry and fret about whether she will keep the spirit that she had been feeling so strongly. Then, there is Jean de Dieu (yes, his name is John of God), and he has been a joy to teach. He is a young African man, with a kind and gentle way about him, but his job keeps him on the road, either near or far, which makes him hard to catch. We go with the Elders because he asked that we come too. I feel bad that he comes home tired, but he welcomes us in, and treats us like royalty. He really liked the "First Vision" DVD, and is reading in the Book of Mormon, and knows that he is missing something in his life. We had a great discussion with him, and he gave a meaningful and tender prayer, and wanted us to come back soon. We set another appointment for three nights later, and when we knocked at the door, the Elder’s cell phone rang and it was him; he had been delayed and couldn’t get back in time. That was three weeks ago now, and no word since; it’s like he has vanished into thin air. We’ll keep trying, but life and people have us shaking our heads in wonderment sometimes.

The one French custom that I thought was kinda cute at first, the air kissing of your cheeks, (smack, first the one, then, smack, the other) is beginning to wear on me now. I enjoy a nice handshake, and a hug from a good friend, or someone you haven’t seen for awhile is great (and always from family!). But, now I get kisses from all the sisters every Sunday, and at every greeting at someone’s home, or at Family Home Evening, from people I’ve known for months, or perfect strangers, even from ladies I’m not so sure like me very much, every time we see them!! It’s nuts, and I wish they’d quit it! Our retiring mission president’s wife took me aside, and whispered that it was the ONE thing she would not miss when they returned to their home in Virginia, USA. One lady at church grabs my arms and kisses me with such gusto and loud smacks, that it leaves me with a ringing in my ears. With Sister Maitre, two won’t do, it’s got to be four (that means you are in, and are considered family!); and it was funny, we clashed glasses so badly at first, that she now always whips hers off with a big grin on her face. Men do get in on the act too, somewhat, and I got a big surprise when the second time I met Ives, a friend of Veronique’s, (the newly divorced member we are trying to help), he kissed my cheeks (I didn’t see it coming, at all) four times with day old stubble that had me wincing in pain. I had given him my carrot cake recipe, and so I now have a new friend for life! Sometimes I take the low road, and duck and run for cover; but I hate being a chicken, so I mostly just grin and bear it, after all, it’s part of the experience of being in France.

Love you lots, Sister Mom, Joanne, Grandma

Members

We have some of the greatest members of the church in our fair burg. They have to work twice as hard to keep the faith than we who live close to the center of church headquarters, because they don’t have a large number of the faithful to depend on and this country and its government does everything it can to discourage faith.

The first member I will talk about is Sister Jacqueline Bouchard, our 81-year-old Relief Society President. Don’t let her age fool you because she has more energy than the Energizer Bunny. She still helps the infirmed with their house work and can keep up with the best of us. She has been out porting, door to door, with us and will speak to anyone at the drop of the hat.

In our Sunday meetings, you will get tired just watching her. She directs the Relief Society and plays the piano there, then she will give the Sunday School lesson, and to finish things off she will play the piano in sacrament meetings. She can give a great talk, which we do often because of our small numbers, and has a strong testimony. Her greatest desire is to serve a mission and we just finished her papers and made calls to SLC to the genealogy library president to have her come to his mission. This sister is as excited about serving and getting her call as any young elder or sister.

We have Family Home Evening with her and the other single members of the branch and she will take any assignment we issue. She can get into a lesson on the Gospel and play a mean game of UNO for the activity. She lost her husband some years ago, but that doesn’t stop her from making many trips to the Madrid temple (10 hours away) by herself in her little car. She is the greatest. She has the distinction of being one of the first women mayors of a town in the Charante.

The next is a high priest, Patrick Humblot. He lost a son 11 years ago when the son was serving in the military in Bosnia. This son was planning on a mission after his military service, but it wasn’t to be on earth. The death of the son caused the mother to go into depression and lose all control of her life. Patrick kept his faith with both the loss of his son and then the problems with his wife. His wife left him, but he stayed true to his testimony.

Patrick is the activity chairman and he does his job with a great deal of enthusiasm. He has the one thing that brings us very close and that is a great sense of humor. He is always on the phone with encouragement with a humorous slant. He gives great talks because he can put the Gospel subjects in a way that everyone can follow him and his humorous antidotes keep everyone on their toes. He loves history and is like me in the enthusiastic way he tackles his genealogy. He has an interesting job: he makes false teeth, crowns and bridges for the local dentists.

Alain Kaus is a single member who is 45-years-old. His family is from Austria and is of Jewish decent. The family came to France to escape Hitler and hide here in the Charante during the war. He served in the Foreign Legion for 5 years and was sent to Africa to fight for the French in wars in the former colonies.

He joined the church here in Angouleme after his military service and loves the Gospel. He works as a mason, but here in France this is one of those occupations that are at the mercy of the work available and all the work is only by the job. He and others have to meet at a central place so they can be picked for the jobs open at that time. He and the branch have been praying that he can find someone who will keep him hired and with his faith and the members fasting a praying, he has found someone to keep him on full time. He is a wiry thin man who you would not think to be a brick and block layer, but he works long hard hours. However I am the only one he has challenged that beat him in arm wrestling.

I have the distinction of being one of the few that can follow what he says because of my early training with the French language. Being taught by young neighborhood boys, I picked up much of the slang and Alain speaks in the French slang. He can speak properly and does so for talks and in his priesthood lessons each week, but he slips easily into the slang of the country whenever he can. Our English branch president brings me into his office whenever he interviews Alain because he can’t understand enough of the lingo to get all Alain is saying. Since I have the responsibility to get all active members to the temple, he and I have had some great discussions about the temple and he is planning to attend this fall for the first time. He had a great deal of stress over the fact that he had to kill other men in the opposing side of conflicts, but with much help from the branch presidency, love, the scriptures, and some recent talks by the brethren on the subject, he has overcome his feelings of guilt and is ready for his interview.

Alain is another member with a good sense of humor and I enjoy his love for life. He is always asking me if we have any single girls in our family and I always refer him to Joanne and since he doesn’t speak English the inquiry ends there.

The other member who I would like to talk about is a little mite of a sister, Marie-Christine Clenet. She is barely all of 4’10” and can’t weigh more than 90 pounds. She is in her 50’s and is single because she took care of her parents who were both sick for years. She is a librarian and can give the best talks without referring to her notes and can give a dynamic lesson that will keep you listening because of her knowledge of the Gospel and her quick wit. She can keep everyone on task with her kind ways of reminding us that we need to be on task.

She cooks for the branch meals even though she can’t often come and everyone can feel her sharing nature. She is always smiling even though all is not going right with health or family.

These and many others of the branch are the salt of the earth and will be very much my friends now and after this life. If I have learned one thing being here, that is that we are all God’s children and Upton Sinclair was right when he said there are only two types of people in this world, “Those I love and those I don’t know.”

Love, Elder Dad, Jack, Grandpa & Papa

Surprises

Bonjour, to you all, my special family and our special friends. It’s a beautiful day to be in France, blue skies prevail and out in the country-side huge fields of sunflowers have popped open their golden heads. When I used to think of this country, Paris and fashion runways came to my mind first; I had no idea that they had such agricultural plentitude.

I still can’t figure out much of the food here, and Jack (even with his good command of the language) is not much help. We go to a grocery store and pour over the ingredients of cans and packages, and have only found two items, so far, that seem to be reduced in calories. So, we buy milk with a blue top, not red; and we know legere means light, so we buy those products, but what we mean by light, and what the French mean, can be quite different. Sometimes I just go by the picture on the package (ummm, that looks like what I want!), and when it is opened it doesn’t do what I expected in my recipe. A sister missionary friend of mine found a cookbook that converted French measurements to English; it was called, “A Little Taste of France," but when she looked for another copy for me, she couldn’t find one. They have cooking magazines just like we do at the checkout stands, and it’s fun to glance at them, but their ingredients are weighed . . . trey different! The funny thing is that now I have people wanting American measuring cups, so they can make carrot cake, 7-layer bars, brownies, etc.

We got treated to supper with a member, for taking care of his cats and fish while he was vacationing. He likes to cook, and the big platter of meat that he set before us looked interesting. We ate it with salad greens and balsamic dressing and baguette, of course. After eating seconds, Jack told me it was duck gizzards! It really WAS best that he waited with that little surprise.

Getting a new Mission President [President and Sister Carter] was a bit stressful, not knowing if he had an agenda planned for us, all different from that of Pres. Merrell’s way of doing things. The one e-mail we received from him told us that French would be spoken at all times; sounding a bit hard-line with all these American missionaries. Being from Quebec, speaking his native language made sense, but the Merrell’s spoke and taught mostly in English, with about 1/3 of the instruction in French.

We made it to Bordeaux with time to meet them before things started. He’s about my height and is quite bald (Jack has more hair than he does!), and was very soft spoken; his wife is shorter, very trim and retiring. Little did we expect what was coming! They started off with a bang—letting their life all hang out, and their story riveted us! They took turns speaking, and know how to teach, pronouncing words clearly, so that even I was able to get a lot without help. She said you will knock on doors all day long in France, and find people just like they were; living together without being married, full of the vices of the world, and uninterested in hearing your message. Her mother had joined the church after Sister Carter was out on her own, and living with a man (Pres. Carter) for 5 years. Their arrangement suited them both just fine, because marriage was not important to them. They let the Elders come mostly to be polite, and the message WAS different enough to be interesting. After months of thinking about what she’d been learning, one night while driving in the car, the strong thought came about what she would be giving up if she got baptized. “I’ll have to give up smoking!” The Spirit answered her thoughts, You won’t miss it. "I'll have to give up drinking." You won’t miss it. "I'll have to give up partying until 3 a.m.!" You won’t miss it. She told her companion that she’d been having a conversation with the Spirit, and was thinking about getting baptized. He was quite content with their living situation, (it worked for him!), and although for the past seven months of lessons, he enjoyed the intellectual stimulation the gospel gave his mind, his heart remained untouched. His Sunday school teacher was preparing her lesson, and was all ready when the Spirit whispered for her to teach on “testimony” instead. She said she tried to argue, but decided to follow the prompting, and began her lesson by softly singing the song, “I Know That My Redeemer Lives.” Brother Carter was so touched by the Spirit that tears began to flow down his cheeks and he absolutely could not stop crying for 15 minutes. They had to marry first, so they chose a weekday when only the 4 missionaries and a couple from their ward were therewith them. Their reception feast was Kool-Aid with pb & j sandwiches. Then, later that night, they were baptized in the river, and that was 30 years ago. They have remained faithful, and sent several children on missions, and they too have a brand new grandchild with another due in January. They are thrilled to be serving the Lord here in France, and we are thrilled with them. The entire meeting was in French, with humorous asides in English. They are both masters at teaching, each taking their turn, and the Spirit was so strong. My big surprise was, that I came to know that they were right about the language, and that even though I struggle, I am the better for it.

Love you all very much,

Sister Mom (Joanne) G’ma.

Time Flies

All I can say is that not only do the hours pass quickly, but the day and weeks merge into each other until we lose track of time. There is so much to do and the time can move in a rapid pace. Sometime we think that we don’t have much to do during the week and then, before we know it, our week is full.

We have been given a further assignment by our new mission president to pin-point on a map what city our lost members are in. We sometimes know what city they are in through casual conversation with family members, but they don’t want to give addresses. We would like to get into those towns so we can check further with voting records, but you have to drive to the city and with the configuration of the Paris and Toulouse missions being so close to where we are, that means going into the other mission which is against mission rules. In order to cross into areas where there are no branches or wards of the church, we are going to have to receive permission from the church headquarters for Western Europe.

We will be working with members here to see how we can check the voting records, which are public record, and any other method of finding the lost sheep. It would be better to have a French speaking member with us who knows all the ins and outs and also knows the language and the exact words to say. Here in France, an individual who moves has to pay the postal service to get their mail transferred to them after a two week free service. That it makes it impossible to forward mail because few want to pay the charge.

The other problem that is happening here in France is that fewer and fewer people have a land line telephone connection. Most everyone you see on the street has their ear to a cell phone (portable). With few land lines, the telephone book or the internet yellow pages doesn’t become a very good resource. French drivers are not allowed to use cell phones while driving and for the large majority of drivers they don’t do it. It is not like the U.S. where every third driver has a new appendage hooked to the side of their head. We and other drivers are seen at the side of the road talking with the cell phones.

So we will be starting another major finding mission to pin-point the city, at least, where the lost sheep are located and see what the Western European leaders want us to do with this program. It might start some new creative ways to discover where some of the members are that have fallen through the cracks. This way, the ward and branch lists can be more up to date and we can give the members visits and encouragement. We are concerned especially about those who are elderly and who don’t have good family support.

One thing that is sad here in France is that family member’s often loose contact with one another. There is not the good family bond in many French families. It is not uncommon to find out when talking to people here that they have no contact with mother, father, or siblings. This is especially true when a spouse dies and the line between the other side of the family is broken by the death. The contact with the living half of the marriage partner ceases. The people here are a living example of the prophesy that talks about families loosing natural affection for one another and, sadly, for family members.

A world wide problem that is a common part of the society is divorce. It is rampant here among the French. It is rare to talk to French people without finding that the wife they now are with is not their first wife or visa-versa, with the husband. What happens here, as well in other countries, is that couples just don’t marry. There are some weird laws in France that actually encourage that. If you are married with two children and one of the couple dies, then the estate doesn’t go to the other half of the married couple. The estate is divided up between the surviving member and the two children. To avoid that problem, people don’t get married. The other situation is that church weddings are not recognized as valid weddings. Everyone must be married civilly for the wedding to get on the books. The city government charges a large sum for the wedding license and the use of the city hall for the ceremony and a good chunk for the mayor to perform the wedding. This was the way to get some money out of the public until the public said, “We know a way to avoid the dividing of property and the fee for the wedding; we won’t get married!” Hence the government has compounded the problem for the growth of families.

In meeting members of other churches, it is interesting to find that our church is the only one I have found so far that requires marriage before membership. The Jehovah’s Witnesses might be another one, but I have not had the opportunity to ask yet. Also, there doesn’t seem to be a big problem in the other churches if someone abandons their wife or husband and lives with another; they can still participate without any problem. There is no church disciplinary action if the person wants to be active in the other denominations. The commandments are being bent and broken all the time. The French society is going to rack and ruin before our eyes. Being here twice before, I can see a major difference as the years have progressed.

Despite all the situations that come our way, we are finding good people to teach and there seems to be a good movement forward in the branch. It is hard to find the willing with so few to do the work. We only have two Elders and us as full time missionaries in a city and suburbs that has close one hundred thousand people. You can see the task is huge. The members here are willing and do much to help and for that we are grateful. Some of the most devoted members are here in France facing big odds and hardships. The flock is small and sometimes persecution in employment and in general acceptance is the rule. Count your blessings in the U.S.

To give you an idea of the faithfulness of the members, we have our 81-year-old Relief Society President who is planning to go on a mission to the genealogy library in Salt Lake City. She is in great health and can run circles around me. Despite her family, who are not members and are opposed to her going, she has put her papers in and is now waiting for the call. I was able to phone and talk to the library supervisor, and they will flag her name. The only way the call will change is if when the application comes to the 12 apostles, they decide to change the request. The supervisor said that in the case of older members the call was 97% sure. It is great to see the eagerness of this 81-year-old member to serve the Lord. It puts many at home to shame.

I love the members here and the work will go forth if we but keep the faith and keep our focus on the prize. The Church is true and for that assurance I give thanks. I am grateful to have something concrete to hang onto in this troubled world.

Love to you all,

Elder Dad

France Is Modern

It is good to finally get the Office Word working like it should so I can type the weekly letter at home and then attach it to the email. This way we can do this in the comfort of our place and not run to the Mall every time we want to email something.

I have been living the good life here in France since we were able to find some of the foods I enjoyed back home. The first thing was peanut butter. It is made in Mississippi, but I must say that it is very creamy and tastes as good as anything back home. The next thing was corn on the cob, yes real sweet corn. I have had it 4 times already and with butter and salt it makes coming here a delight. We were able to find good BBQ sauce made in the U.S. in the stores and the missionaries from the U.S. go the extra mile for some of Joanne’s pulled pork on a good French fresh bun. We still have not been able to find Root Beer in Angouleme, but we have heard that it is available in other cities in our zone, so all I have to do is arrange a swap and all my food groups will be taken care of. I must say that there are some things I wish I could return with. The grape juice is especially good and the fresh buns for hot dogs and BBQ sandwiches are much better that our hot dog buns.

We are having an experience with starting our Primary since we don’t have a lot of experienced hands to make it go as we like. The major problem is as these people come to church, their little children have not had the training to sit or work through a simple lesson or the big factor is sharing time. All this will take time, but we have a start. All of the things you take for granted at home don’t even register in a small branch.

We are teaching a blind lady who has had a Book of Mormon for years but has never been able to read it. She told us that she takes it were ever she goes and feels very safe with it near by. Elder Osborne had a copy of the Book of Mormon on tape in French, but it is missing the 1st two tapes which cover 1st Nephi (we claim it is missing the 1st 116 pages). She listened to the tapes that cover 2nd Nephi and when we came back she said it was just as she imagined and is thrilled to hear what she didn’t know before. She already has a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. We are working at reading her the missing 1st Nephi.

We are always running into new situations that definitely stretch the imagination and make us rely on the inspiration of the Spirit. Being the only member of the branch presidency here during the week has us in many problems and situations that would be handled by others, but we do our best to give aid and comfort.

The weather has been hot the last week. It seems that we went in one day from spring to summer. The heat jumped from the low 70’s to the low 90’s and we found out quickly that we need the air conditioner. We take the car in tomorrow and that will help the old couple a lot.

Elder Dad

Wild Life

Bonjour, are you all well? I sure hope that is the way it is with everyone; we are feeling great today because it dropped a good 15 degrees overnight, and we feel freshened and invigorated. We hear that July and August are the official vacation months in France, so I guess the tourists start arriving and the natives start scramming to anywhere but here!

Our day went south on us with Eric having to cancel our appointment, but it picked up big time when we dropped in on Mme. Carillon to bring her two mini bar-b-cue sandwiches to try. She’s our almost blind investigator, and she is a hoot. She is a live wire, with a huge smile and a great seeing eye dog that everyone loves because of her gentleness. She lives right on a busy street, and her window was wide open (no screens) when we came up. She had 2 guests, so we just talked and handed her the food right through the opening. She indicated her friend inside was the one who wanted to meet the Mormons, but was too shy; so Jack naturally popped his head in and invited her to our next meeting with Mme. C., and she said she would come. We hope to get her to church soon; she would be a shot in the arm in Relief Society with her lively sense of humor, and because she wants to know everything and isn’t afraid to ask.

We arrived at our regular meeting with Madeleine Chauveau, and found her laying down, looking white-faced and stricken. Two days earlier, her cleaning lady was with her when she suffered a mild heart attack and was able to get the proper pill into her mouth. She was weak and seemed ready to give up the ghost, so we had her call her doctor and he came and prescribed a patch for her chest, instead of the horse sized pills that made her stomach rebel. Jack got that filled for her and we got soup down her, and she asked for a blessing. We were in tears and felt like this was good-bye for good as we left that day, with the promise to return soon to help her change her patch. When we came three days later, she greeted us at the door with a huge smile of welcome, wearing a smart red and black top, and with her silver hair cut and permed to perfection. The patch was the right medication for her, and she was her former self again. Now she can go to England for her grandson’s wedding after all, and enjoy the trip.

Life is wild at times, but I was thinking of wild things that make me jump in the night, such as spiders . . . UGH! After showering one morning, I stepped into our bedroom and my foot just barely missed a humongous, black, 4 inch wide beastie, sauntering nonchalantly across the floor. I yelped, and leaped to the sky, and that got its attention, and it stopped to consider options. My option was to call for help, so Jack got a bit of toilet paper to snatch it up with (he thinks living things should fulfill the measure of their creation). But, when he saw it, he said, “I’m going to need MORE paper!” and he let the little hummer go out the window to live and scare again. The very next day, while running around without my glasses on, I wondered how the corner of our pink bedroom had become dirty all of a sudden, but the thought passed because I had other things on my mind. Then later, after a day with the Bennett’s, I plopped my weary, warm self down on the bed and noticed that spot again. Later, while getting dressed for English class, I looked up at that spot again, this time with my specs on, and the brilliant realization came to me that spots like that don’t just appear overnight! I moved closer for a better look, and sure enough, it was that spider again (or his evil twin brother!) cleverly concealing himself in the corner of a pink room! I hate spiders. Spiders in a house are not helping people by hunting for flies, they are after big game, and this one was thinking and planning and biding his time, waiting for the chance to get back at me, and looking for a nice juicy meal. Just the thought of a spider chewing on my ankle gives me the heebie-jeebies, so I called for help again, and this time Jack took him clear across the courtyard. I told him if I see him again, he’s MINE (my broom and I will make mince meat of him!). Funny enough, other things, like mosquitoes are nothing. I haven’t been bitten by even one mosquito; you just give them a hard stare and tell them to scram and they fly off home to mommy. Wyoming mosquitoes would eat their lunch, and take over the country too! I’ve seen a homely rabbit, snails, birds galore that eat your garden produce before you can, and have heard of hundreds of slugs on the move, and wild boars running through the woods. We did drive by a large chateau just at twilight, and the front meadow was full of almost a hundred deer running in their protected area . . . it seemed very medieval and picturesque, and we just sat and enjoyed it for awhile.

I think I’m wearing you out, but I missed doing my e-mail last week, so I’m long winded this time. I love you guys. Congrats to Sandra & Keith getting Mckenna blessed, and Anthony for getting married . . . some of the best times of our lives.

Sister Mom (Joanne)